I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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