McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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