i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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