I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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