We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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