I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
