Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
