Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
