bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize