Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
you made out with another girl for some wings
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
its liver damage thursday
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
