Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
