O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You are a genius and a whore.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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