i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
