Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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