I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
