He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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