ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Boobs speak an international language.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize