Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
