So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Sorry about my life...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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