i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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