That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
