I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
