I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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