highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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