Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
