Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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