Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
