Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
