pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
