Your tits are I can't wait for
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Someone signed my nipple.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
