dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize