one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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