I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
