i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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