I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
