Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
