I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Apparently you make a good broom.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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