Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
