Someone shit on the floor
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
