Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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