people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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