I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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