I accidentally burped into my bong.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
