Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
