I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
