I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Randomize
