We got so high we made milksteak
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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