my vag is so smooth its legendary
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
