He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
