I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize