she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
