Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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