would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
