I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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