the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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