Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize