ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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