Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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