I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
