Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
