told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
