I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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