so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
