he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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