i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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