nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize