Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
third nipple confirmed
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
