I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize