Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
