How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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