My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
