he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
