I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
