guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
