Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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