so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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