Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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