Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
