may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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