Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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