Are we in a gay sports bar?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
