Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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