I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
