I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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