I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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