I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
