He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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